do yourselves a favor and watch ‘A Touch of Cloth’
Okay, guys, but think of the Argents bickering over monster facts in the margins of the bestiary before it was made digital.
“Revenants are weak to a torch’s flame. - 1730”
“Fucking liar. - 1842”
“I have dedicated much time and placed my personal safety aside in order to pursue the inquiries set forth by my grandfather. I can now, with great confidence, report that the feline shifters of Essex are indeed more amorous than those residing in Cornwall. - 1798”
”I could have lived a full and glad life without having known of this, Mother. - 1826”
“For future consideration: wolfsbane incense. - 1978”
“Considered. Smells divine. (Don’t breathe too deeply.) - 1983”
THIS AMUSES ME GREATLY
"Overheard a group of male werewolves boasting about ‘knotting’ many females. Further investigation required on the subject." - 1765
Addendum: “After many months of vigorous and thorough investigation into the matter, we conclude no such thing exists” - 1765
(“Do I even want to know what that means,” Allisons mutters to herself, half amused and half alarmed)
“In the presence of anise, werewolves are prone to lowering their defenses.” -1689
"The above author failed to include the very important detail that the anise has to be INGESTED by the werewolf for it to take full effect." - 1723 (an author who has lost a limb thanks to poor advice)
"There is no such thing as vampires." - 1583
"One of the more fearsome creatures I encountered during my travels were skinwalkers. These nefarious creatures have the ability to take the form of any human they come into skin contact with." - 1876
"They also have a penchant for martinis - very dry, often dirty, with three olives." - 1945
"An easy and sure fire method to capture a Harpy is by using sheep liver for bait." - 1698
"It’s easier to use a bag of candy corn." - 2004
"… a night spent with an incubus cannot be compared to any experience." -1834
"Succubi are far superior." -1835
"Incubus." - 1855
"Succubi." - 1904
"Incubus, and that is final." - 1933
"Succubi!" - 1957
"As someone who prefers both the male and female gender, I present myself as the tie breaker. After having spent a night with both, not only have I narrowly escaped with my life intact, I conclude it IS humanely possible to almost die thanks to too many orgasms. In regards with the topic in question, they both are equally excellent experiences on their own and nothing compares to them together." - 1982
"The best time to attack any creature is in their sleep, when they are defenseless. The next best option is right after they wake up. Their disorientation will aid you in your attack." - 1443
"Note: Make sure you attack before they’ve had their morning coffee." - 1974
"I have received reasonably intel that vampires exist and they have established a network throughout New York City." - 1998
"Edit: Intel was false. Informant had been telling me the plot of the new Marvel movie, Blade. That’s the last time I trust that idiot Frank. There is still no proof available for the existence of vampires outside of popular fiction." -1998
"Was informed a werewolf group was meeting up for a meeting in Philadelphia. I decided to sneak into the hotel to see which packs were attended. It was after I entered the Hall did I realized I had walked into a Twilight convention." - 2011
imagine a bunch of werewolf hunters arguing in the bestiary over werewolf dick sizes. like they need to make an anatomically correct werewolf in the bestiary see so like how big are werewolf dongs?
"i dont know jefferson i dont strip them before OR after i kill them"
"you mean to imply that i do?!"
"jefferson, matt, focus please? should we make it 5 inches? thats the average isnt it?"
"isnt it 4?"
"erect or soft?"
"Does it grow bigger when they shift?"
"Don’t be stupid, George, of course not.”
"Well how the fuck would you know, Mary, have you seen it?”
“No. It’s common sense, George. Nothing else grows.”
"They grow hair and lose eyebrows, Mary. I think dick sizes could change too. It’s not that odd.”
“Yes, it is. Why are you even thinking about their dicks, George, is this why you and Harriet keep fighting?”
"Leave Harriet out of this, Mary. And this may be important to know.”
"Why, is there something you’re not telling me George? Is this why you won’t come home?”
“God damn it, Harriet. I am trying to ask a legitimate, serious question right now.”
"George, this is a serious question. Why do you want to know about werewolf dick sizes?"
This is my new favorite conversation, may it continue forever and ever amen.
I CAN NOT GET OVER THIS
how does 6 seconds have such a drastic plot twist
Teen Wolf Deleted Scene :: Scott and Isaac from Unleashed.
Miss America – Young Avengers (2013) #7 Jamie Mckelvie
*incredulous voice* mERRY CHRISTMAS????? WHAT ABOUT PIPPIN CHRISTMAS?????